My parents control my entire life (26M).
They don’t allow me head out out of the house without express permission. They have installed 30 360 degrees cameras around the house, my bedroom balcony alone has three cameras staring inside the room. In case I run away they threatened to put me into a psych ward and disown me. They have taken more than 80 percent of the money I earned working in their firm. I would like to escape.
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You sound more like a hostage than a legal adult
Yes. Indeed I am desperate I have awaken a month ago. My entire life they said they were protecting me, that I wasn’t capable of living alone, that love is control. I believed in it.
It's verging on slavery. And obviously abuse. Can you give a rough idea of where you are so people can provide a support network to get you out of this appalling situation?
For a 26 year old that situation sounds really extreme. No adult should be living like that.
You grab you ID, SSN and birth certificate. Whatever cash you have and 1 set of clothes. You throw your phone away and you leave. You don't care if they disown you, they aren't going to leave you anything anyway. Go to a men's shelter and tell the counselor there that you ...
They don’t allow me access to Reddit. I am using it behind their back. My psychiatrist asked them to give me my things back
Why do you think they are not going to leave me anything? My mom says that the only reason she has to be alive is that I am close to her.
Running away at age 26 has a more common term: moving out.
I know. The problem is the whole pressure they put against me doing so.
Go to r/EstrangedAdultKids scroll down on the right hand side. They have a lot of advice on how to escape from parents.
Thank you so much
Pack a bag and walk out. They can't stop you. If they try, call the cops and tell them you're being unlawfully detained. Get a new bank account at a different bank. Stay with a friend until you find a new job.
DEFINITELY THIS 👆✅
Im almost 30 and im the same as you my parents wont let me go out with male friends cause according to them they might try to rape me or something
Why don’t you run?
Grab a few personal items from your room, try to get a hold of your ID and SSN and get the hell out of there. Vanish into the night.
I am waiting until next week, I think it’s still in the window of opportunity.
Call the police and adult protective services saying you actually are being a hostage and they never let you leave, that's literally what it is. #Whatever assets they have, just drop them and not worth keeping, let them disown you and leave
You are a grown adult. You can speak of yourself, they can’t hold you back from leaving.
What you’re describing is insanely illegal.
You gotta be joking but hey you better start being self sudficient if you want zo change smth
I know. I have been just realising how difficult it will be for me to be happy. I thought of them previously as loving and caring. When I told them about my sexual preferences a third time and they called me Satan, and threatened to commit suicide for it, I realised how crazy ...
Nobody can put you in a psych ward. A doctor would have to be convinced that you're at risk of harming yourself or someone else and even then in the US they can hold you for 72 hours max. Most countries have a similar policy. They're using this threat to control you. You're an...
In a lot of countries their mental health care is so overwhelmed they’ll let you out within a few hours even if you had actually tried to cause yourself harm
Where do you live?
Brazil
You need to leave. See if you can get access to some of your personal documents (birth certificate, social secuity card etc) and ... just leave. You don't say where you live but in most countries it's not that hard to just get on a bus or train and disappear. Change your name...
I live in Brazil
Start by getting copies of your documents off site
They locked my documents away. The only way I get then is if I am doing office work for them, tax declarations, referendum votes. I have an opportunity window. But it is short
Call the domestic abuse hotline. You are being abused. You have the legal right to leave, but your parents are trying to threaten your freedom. Many nations have these kind of abuse hotlines.
My parents have money, the legal system here is not very reliable. If I stay in the country they will spend a whole lot of money to get me back
It’s time to move out
Are there any women’s shelters in your area? I know you’re male, but they will be able to put you in touch with resources and tactics to help you get away safely. ETA I see you have dual citizenship - can you get to an embassy for tge country you’re not living in?
Look for work outside of their firm and find a different living situation.
Talk to a lawyer. Even though they are your parents, what they're doing is immoral and very likely illegal. Don't ask their permission, just find a good lawyer and go by yourself. You deserve to have the life you want, not what they decide you should have. Taking your mone...
I wish it were so simple, they only paid me upfront a minimum wage for six months then they fired me, they gave me 15 K on the side to buy a car
They are taking 80% of the money you earn working in their firm and filming you in your room? This sounds very illegal... wage theft ? Definitely get as far away as possible. Dont let them know you are leaving until you are long gone. This sounds scary. You are basically a sla...
The flip side is that if I turn the electric blinders on, they can’t see me
You need to reach out to law enforcement where you are. Do you have time alone at work? If so plan your escape there. Time it to move out and change bank so parents can’t get your money.
I was almost always working from home. I did not have a regular 9 to 5 schedule. They closed the office nearby anyways
Congratulations! You now are aware. I'll try to give my best advice. Do you have ANY friends? If yes, try to talk to them while you are are work. Explain that you REALLY NEED a place to stay the night or least someone to talk about serious things and that they are the people ...
this might sound kinda unconventional and I aint no professional at this stuff, but just umm pack up whatever you can, not everything just whatever you can and just bolt tf outta there
you're an adult, move out
How? When? With what luggage? I know that I must move quickly.
Call adult protective services?
Yeah u a victim here and need to call the cops
They only control you because you let them.
If I do anything, anything at all that displeases them, I am severely punished, I can’t even use my ID or wallet. They look through my stuff and find it
“In case I run away they threaten to put me in a psych ward and disown me” You are 26. You can leave freely. If they try and stop you that is illegal. They might not want to let you stay with them after so find a new place for yourself maybe even with a friend, but they canno...
First thing you must do is get another job. Save every penny and move out. Don’t tell them anything about your new job or your new living arrangement. When you’re ready to move, move as far away as possible. Don’t tell anyone you know about your new job or living arrangement s...
I am thinking of leading them on the wrong trail, saying I am preparing for becoming a court translator at home. While I am actually working and studying the language
If you can post on the internet or leave the house then go to a shelter or the police.
You are not a child. You are an adult. Stop letting them control you. They only do it because you allow it. Notate every time they threaten to have you committed for doing something they don't want. Unless you do have serious mental issues. That's a possibility.
8 days ago you posted and said you are 27. 2 days ago you posted in thiscsame subreddit with almost the same thing. You are a grown adult and can move out when ever you want (unless there is a mdical/legal action in place declaring you unfit to care for yourself), your parents...
I did not say I was 27. I was expecting to move out at 27. There is a difference.
You're being held against your will and your income stolen? Police?
The psych ward sounds like a better option than the prison sentence you already have. You are a grown adult and you need to leave. However you can. Even if you end up sleeping on friends' sofas for a month.
What do you think would happen if you told your parents you wanted to replace your therapist? If they won’t entertain the thought, the therapist may be feeling info to them.
Thanks. The thing is that she is a reputed psychiatrist in São Paulo etc. Has lots of clients in High Society circles. I don’t know what I should tell and what I should not.
Sounds like you’re allowing them to do this.
You’re an adult; you can leave anytime you want