I *wish* I was making this up (Maryland, USA).
It's me, my landlord's personal banking service!
Upvoters32
198 Comments
Response should be: “Hey, I’m planning on paying my bills and buying food tomorrow. Do you think it’s possible if I could pay you rent next month instead of this month. If possible.”
Actually, short and sweet is better: “LOL GFY — you’re funny.”
Long, loud clap!
🤣🤣🤣 That'll leave the landlord dwelling on how dumb they sound themselves.
Ask for a discount, sure buddy i'll write you two checks for 80% of the total.
I would also figure it out somehow, for a 20% rent discount
I like that idea. Want an early check? Give me something for your favor. Thanks for admitting it’s for a second Tesla.
Had a landlord in college that would do this. He’d ask for rent 2 weeks early and knock $100 off 😂 I said sure every time he came around
"I'm a renter. On WHAT fucking planet do you think I can afford to write you double the check"
It's easy. Date the cheques correctly. - said as someone who last used cheques in 2009 in Abu Dhabi where you handed over a 12 month stack of post dated cheques for rent.
That’s INSANE please tell me that you said no???
I'm still in my "wtaf" phase and haven't responded yet
'Early rent payments are made at a 40% discount, is that acceptable?'
Sounds like the convos are cordial enough to sneak this in and feel out the answer lol
I love that they're trying to frame it as doing you a favor by not making you pay April by paying April early? Tell them sure you'll do that if you get May and June for free.
Right? Like there's absolutely zero upside for OP here, so the landlord's attempt to frame it that way is fucking wild.
Be ready to fight for that security deposit! Wishing you the best 🙌🏼
Oh I know. This has been four years of insanity living here, but I live in an expensive area and what we're renting is considered a 'good deal'
Dudes living paycheck to paycheck, but your paycheck.
Looks like someone is going to have to wait a month for their Tesla. *Poor planning on their part absolutely should not create an emergency on yours!*
That’s SECOND Tesla to you sir! To think some people don’t even have one Tesla, the fucking horror! (/s)
I think I would genuinely just not even respond to this
I would tell them to fuck themselves and a few other things that would probably get me evicted. So yeah, no response it is.
This. When he comes. Give only March rent.
Omgggg he is serious too
No fucking way 
I’m sorry, I’ve made the difficult decision to eat this month.
For real! Groceries are astronomical right now! My husband and I pay at least $100 a week and we don't eat anything crazy. Add that in with the rest of bills and where tf do they think the next month rent hiding?! People think cause you have decent clothes, pay your bills, and...
„Before we discuss this topic, can you please send me proof that you are capable of paying back my security deposit in case I move out? Not saying I want to move, just checking“ 🙄
Sounds testy, but that's a pretty legit question. Many states legally require it to be kept in escrow. This LL sounds like he'd skip that step.
Sure you can. I charge 150% interest so I'll just pay half in May. Where can I send the loan agreement?
This is real? They want two months worth of rent... to buy a second tesla? JFC I can't believe they'd even say this to you 😭
I know. This is after his wife wrecked their other Tesla so we had to use my car to go pick up a replacement dishwasher. I have so many stories about this man.
This text will end up being seen in a courtroom I just KNOW it 🥲😭
is that Lmao Zedong?
I would definitely get it in writing, and if you have the cash on hand you could do it for 80% or so, see what you can negotiate.
Request a discount in exchange for the rent in advance, if you can afford it. Then only pay if you get the deal signed on paper. Just to kept everyone honest. I had a landlord get in trouble at tax time and ask the same. I got 3 months for 2.5 months rent. I had the cash at ...
lol Tesla is running a promo for 0.99% financing right now but you need 10% down to qualify.
"No. You mean OUR 2nd Tesla!" 😂 In this economy (and the next couple of years… plus Jan 6th vibes), secure the bag and negotiate: * 36-month lease at the current rate if you really love the living space * Or cap rent increases at 2% max for 3 to 4 years * Annual free carpet...
In this way, you don't need to give me any check for April 😭😭 like you're fucking stupid
This is epic
tell him you want to buy your THIRD Tesla and need to save money for the downpayment.
Just so we're all clear on this issue, the landlord wants extra money to feed his gambling addiction during March Madness, there is no 2nd Tesla.
That or he has tax issues
Or just respond, "You mean MAY's rent won't be due?" :)
Please update us when you respond. This is the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. People like this are scum and what’s wrong with our society.
I think my plan of action is to say no, ask proof of my deposit in escrow, and hound him about fixing my electrical or I'm filing my rent checks in a court established account
MF’er can afford a second Tesla but not the down payment? 🤔 I mean who doesn’t keep an extra months worth of rent in savings just in case your landlord needs a favor?
“You don’t have to give me any check for April rent…” yes, you do. He just wants it a month early. 🤦🏼
My landlord once asked me for three months rent and said “so I don’t have to think about it for a few months”
we must have the same ones!
Sounds like you need to discover something major in need of repair at the property.
Oh he's well behind on repairs. I have three electrical sockets that no longer work
"second Tesla" tells me all I need to know about this person........
Your SECOND tesla can wait if you can't pay your downpayment, specially when you are a landlord. Vulture.
Have a little sympathy. Your landlord is living your paycheck to your paycheck.
This reads like your gonna have to fight to get your deposit back.
I'm ready to
Tesla owner. Tesla fanboy. Landlord. This text…. Appropriate response: “lol no 🤢”
How about hell no
I used to rent a parking space along side of a building. The woman who rented it to me would call me and tell me my car was about to be towed because it was in the wrong place. I would get dressed and walk the four blocks to my car only to see it was someone else's car she w...
They really have no self awareness
The audacity of some people. Still if this was me if I could afford to do it I would. That way if I ever hit a rough patch where I was short on rent one month I can say “Remember when I helped you out when you were buying that Tesla?”
In that situation, the landlord would absolutely forget that you helped them out buying the Tesla.
lmao
"No" is a complete sentence.
He/She/They can wait til next month to buy it then 😂
Ultimatum time. The ball is in your court. If he really wants that car this week. What’s in it for you.? If not he can wait until April to get a new car
You are clearly dealing with an idiot. I would respond with something like “I simply do not have that money yet” or something because you don’t want to provoke this nutjob
imagine waiting for this landlord to actually fix something when he can't even afford to get his second Tesla
I'd tell him sure but the second check will have $100 less as a fee for my services 😂 This is so classless and tacky, even if the landlord is a friend.
Imagine had you said “I plan on buying a 2nd chocolate fountain, it’s cool if I hold off your April rent right?” Yea that’s how dumb he sounds, and honestly 2 chocolate fountains have far more utility than 2 teslas as you can only drive one at once.
He can ask... I'd ask for a discount for prepaying or just say I don't have it as extra.
Teslas are dirt cheap now. The new Altima.
I would be very concerned with a landlord who needs my check early to pay a bill. What will he do if he has a financial emergency?
Eat the rich.
To buy Musk's car ? No way
Only for a prepayment discount.
This sounds exactly like my landlord. Always getting you right in the gut about money but in such a sneaky way. Mine does it constantly about things. He likes to get tractors, and trailers, things for doing asphalt. A lot of big machinery. He always likes to rub it in to make ...
I wish this was a joke, but living and renting in Maryland I know for a fact this isnt a joke. I'd tell him no. He wouldn't give you a break on your rent if you were to ask to pay a month late so you could buy a new car now.
The fuck you don't even need one Tesla
Tesla says everything. The gall of some people!!
“I have enough money for this stupid car but I don’t have enough money for this stupid car, can you fuck your self over to help me afford this car that I can totally afford on my own?” Ya know, we don’t harm landlords enough. Or enough landlords.
Idk what county you're in but, as a landlord, I just want to say MD can be very tenant friendly. You probably know all of this but in case: Keep documenting everything. If you ever need it, it will come in handy. Any agreements for reimbursements should be in writing & sig...
That’s like a drug dealer asking you to pay first so he can afford to go get the drugs he’s going to sell you
Someone once told me that all the tenants are the landlords breadwinner. If we all just stop paying, half the economy would collapse
lol wild. If you can’t make the payment on a new car without collecting an additional couple thousand dollars, you’re probably not in a position to buy a new car.
If I say what I really want to say reddit is gonna put me in time out.
I had a crazy landlady once that went on a 6 week vacation. She gave us her account # so we could deposit our rent check in a specific ATM she trusted on the 1st of the month, because she would need the $$ to spend while she was on vacation. Problem was she gave us the wrong...
This is the perfect opportunity to get a nice discount on April rent.
“Sure - but I want a permanent 10% reduction in my rent.”
I think this is insane, because it literally shows that if it wasn't for you, this person wouldn't even be able to get a Tesla. And the ease of him being like, oh yeah. You know, if you could just pay me double the rent, you won't have to worry about next month. So that IA gro...
“kick rocks bud.”
And he's asking this at 8:30 at night, wow. Audacity on top of audacity. What the hell.... I am baffled by the fact they clearly think this is okay. It's truly stunning the things people think are appropriate in this type of relationship.
LANDLORD HERE : O. M. F. G. 😳😳😳😳😳😳😱😱😱😱😱😳😳😳😳😳😳
Updateme
Offer to do it if you can pay 75% of the rent for April instead of the whole thing, or some kind of large discount.
This belongs in r/mildlyinfuriating. Lol.
What an absolute scum bag is this real?
And he's buying a Tesla too...... My bet is on a cyber truck and he just didnt wanna say that. Lololol Dude I would move as fast as possible away from this kinda landlord. What a twat
Actually I'm trying to buy a new dick sucking machine, how about we skip this month and next instead?
Oh this is wild work.
Or: “Absolutely! I plan on taking a vacation in June and will need to forego May’s rent to pay for my June vacation.” (What is wrong with people… lol)
Whether or not its true I would simply tell him youre unable to help out. You do not want to aet the precedent that you have money to spare to your landlord. I also would not follow any "funny" advice on here. You have a cordial relationship and being on good terms with your...
"No." Is a complete sentence.
Please spill the tea. Which part of MD is this?
Parasite class
Accurate Maryland behavior. Likely the DC area too.
I wouldn’t even respond to this. Maryland landlords will use this behavior against you and double down on the unprofessional behavior in the future. Keep things professional and follow the lease.
Sure, put my name on the Title since I'm buying it for you.
it’s not just his first tesla, it’s his second
"I want this in writing and 30% off for both payments. You're asking me to strain my financials so you can afford a second 'luxury' car. These are my terms, dont like it pound sand and wait to get your car."
“Sounds like you can’t afford a second Tesla”
Don’t reply. “Sorry I was working and did not see this text. Hope it all works out for you “
If there is a late payment fee, I would apply it in reverse to an early payment.
SECOND Tesla not FIRST incase you didn’t know!!
second Tesla.... what a douchebag
If you can afford it, write up a receipt with a 20% discount on April. He signed, you hand over a check. All loans have costs. Let him decide.
This should be a reportable offense that leads to punishment.
Tell that scumbag to pull up his bootstraps.
That's a hard no.
That's very concerning, especially if you need something repaired or your lease comes up for renewal.
"Oh not you can't afford a SECOND Tesla! Why do you think I give a fuck?"
How about I do you one even better so you can afford a 3rd tesla. I’ll pay you the rest of the year at 40% off. 9 months . I’ll just give you 5 months upfront. Need it in writing and notarized.
and that landlord grew up to be Elon Musk
What a terrible person.
No
Tell us what your response was!
This has to be satire. I'd move the fuck out
The actual audacity on this mfer!!
If this isn't fake it's insane, but kudos to him for at least being honest, I guess. Landlords are the worst kind of leeches, right next to insurance companies. Absolutely would never give in to this. This type of shit is why I bought a house - and truth be told, my mortgag...
Gee i always have the equivalent to 2 large mortgage payments laying around. Finally got a windfall where i can move out of this rental, as my scummy management company keeps on hiking my rent up to match 33% of my gross income versus true market value.
You gotta tell him "sure for a permanent 25% discount off rent!"
For a 50% discount for both months, sure.
Kinda gives the vibes they are gonna take the money and run. like they aren't even paying the mortgage or something. huge redflag
Oh my gosh this is… ugh. WOW. Alrighty. They wanna play that game? Hit em. Hit em hard. Play dumb and nice, gently hint at the fact they are living in delulu land, and finish it with a nice closer. I tried to keep it… err, not get you kicked out of your apartment but ‘dude...
What a weirdo. I'm assuming your landlord is a friend or family friend? I'd still say no. If you pay now then you lose your leverage if something goes bad in the apartment. Holding rent is one of the only things renters have as leverage against landlords.
Hell no.
of course it’s a tesla owner smh
No shot
If you can swing it, I’d begin with the negotiation with a 2 for 3 type of deal, see what he says 🤷♂️
Typical Tesla owner, only caring about himself and his needs. Prick
I can't believe how many people think this is real. "I'm buying my second Tesla" 😅
It's shocking, how easily offended I am. This guy's naked greed, it's shocking. You're just a variable in an equation of his. Soulless.
Can we please get some kind of publicly funded organization that goes around and makes sure that these landlords are being put in their place? Jesus Christ it’s like they can do whatever they please
Oh bro, you hurting? Yeah, I remember when I had trouble with the initial payment for my second Tesla, too. lol, sucks! But let me just do the down payment for you. I'll do it before heading to work to save you the trip. No problem!
Sounds like landlord is not living within their means, buying a second car should not require an advance payment of income. What if there is an unexpected expense at that or another property? This is apparently a private landlord, not a property manager. I made that mistake be...
I mean if you have the money, you could make an offer... basically become a payday loan for him :). Offer to take 10% off the 2nd month.
Probably a stupid question, but I'm not American so I'm a bit confused: a check like the piece of paper you need to go deposit manually at a bank? Why not just an electronic transfer directly into their bank account?
Write a second check but date it for April on the due date
Renting anything in Maryland is an absolute joke. A friend of mine has actual roaches in her building and the water spontaneously cuts out for an over 24 hours at a time, and she is paying over 2 grand for a one bedroom. If I was renting a place to live, I genuinely would leav...
If I had the money to give you two extra months’ rent today, -I- would be the landlord!
They will conveniently forget this text was ever sent come April 1st
For a 50% discount
This is not the first time I have seen this, there was one guy not too long ago who had a landlord that wanted the tenant to pay for a new roof and then deduct it from future rent payments.
"Just use my last month's check :)"
That is hands down the douchiest thing I think I have ever read wow
"Hey dude, good to hear from you. No."
Reminds me of that once post that went something like "I'm the main breadwinner in my household and also my landlords household"
Wow way to be greedy. You really are going to make him wait a whole extra month to get only his second Tesla?! Unbelievable OP. Grow up and think about someone other than yourself for once! 😤
Taking the "Lord" part in landlord a little too seriously
Ask if it’s a typo and they meant if you may March & April you don’t have to pay May.
I'd consider helping them out if I got a pass for May.
This is why you need rent control
"sure, I didn't mind paying next months rent this month - if you'd give me a 25% discount on next months rent. If we can work out a good rate, I might be able to do that"
Ask him for third months rent to have a 8% deduction for interest
I hired a yard maintenance guy and after a full season of his wife texting me asking me to front the service charge, I did it a couple of times but ultimately I stopped using them because of it. She continued to send me PayPal requests for two years after I canceled the servic...
No is a complete sentence.
Dick for buying a Tesla
Tell him you JUST bought your third Tesla, and unfortunately due to your habit of donating them to orphans he will have to wait each month when the rent is due to collect that money.
The annoying thing is this person still gets the money just at a later time
Bruh they can’t afford that car if they can’t even afford the down payment without an advance from their tenant lmao🤣
“Yeah, let me just not pay my other bills and starve for the next month.” clueless ass landlord.
Tenant: living in a rental as probably can’t afford their own home Landlord: hey can you give me a loan to buy my second luxury car?
Landlord here. Lol no. Ffs. Let me guess, he also insists on repairing a 10 year old fridge instead of just getting you a new one?
The wording of the text makes me struggle to believe this is anything other than ragebait
is he autistic? why would he actually tell you that?
Not offering a discount for April is crazy. Like a grocery store running a 2-for-2 deal: "u won't have to buy toilet paper for twice as long"
OMG - That landlord sounds suspiciously like one I had in Fred County about 10 yrs ago
Doesn't hurt to ask 😂
If they can’t afford the down payment they can’t afford the car. The question is absurd. The answer is NO.
Yo I'd laugh so hard like I did when our Management asked us to pay early (so they could afford plumbers) and they'd enter us in a drawing to win $300 off the next month 🤣
“OR!: I could wait until January and pay you all at once! I’m headed to Vegas and need some extra $. Don’t panic when the place is empty and you can’t reach me though. I’ll be back with a cashiers check before you can say “WTF?”. Pinky swear. You trust me, right?”
I have a friend whose landlord always needed money and would ask my friend to prepay the next month’s rent (we thought he might have a gambling problem). My friend had the means to pay two months of rent, but he would always get a discount on his rent. He ended up saving thous...
I love the way they try to make it sound mutually beneficial. "This way you don't have to pay me next month" because I totally thought I'd need to pay next month *again* without your graciousness lmao.
Landlords aren’t real man. Imagine fully bankrolling two teslas off of a property simply because you own it. God Mao Zedong was truly on to something.
What's your lease agreement? According to a quick Google search, if it's written in your lease agreement, they may be able to demand that you pay your rent in advance. HOWEVER, if it's not, according to Maryland law **(please do research on this yourself and fact check this in...