No cracker must ever be bigger than single bite size.
When snacking on cheese and crackers or charcuterie, it is absurd to pick up a bite. Crackers are, of course, dry and crumbly and so if you can’t barely put the whole object in your mouth, it automatically makes a mess. Do major crackers look cooler? Or seem more bougie? I don’t comprehend why they are even made. It’s just… stupid.
Upvoters9
54 Comments
Who you calling a cracker?
Mary's Gone Crackers!
Why did my brain translate this to "who you calling a cootie queen you lint licker"
That depends, will you fit in my mouth?
My favorite way to enjoy crackers is with cheese and some kind of salami/sausage/cured meat. I *hate* when people make charcuterie boards with a billion types of crackers and they're all too big to eat in 1 bite. You bite in, crumbs go everywhere, the casing on the slice of pe...
Right?!? And note taken. After the cracker industry I will take down the overly thick casing industry.
My favorite is with a naked lady
The reason a cracker should be big enough to not eat in one bite is because most people get enjoyment from the cracking of the cracker hense the name and the larger size makes it easier to butter, you may be more used to cheese crackers?
Um.. what? The cracker cracks in your mouth. I don’t know a single person who greatly enjoys biting into crumby messy crackers for no reason.
The cracking of a cracker....
Butter? What?!? You must be from some magical realm where butter isn’t just for toast. And the cracker can still crack inside your mouth, as god intended.
Look, I'm 5 foot 3 I cant get any smaller IDK what you want
All panties are good
As a short, white person, I agree.
Fuck big crackers!
THEY ARE LIKE BIG PANTIES!
Is that an offer or
What are your thoughts on Matzah
Similar stance, however the Jewish people wisely call it “bread of affliction” so they get points for knowing how terrible it would be for snacking.
McD's CEO crashing out over accepted bite sizes
If I have to unhinge my jaw like a snake just to eat a cracker, the product design has failed.
Almost all of them are bite size, when you take disgustingly large bites
OP is probably messy and gets crumbs all over if its not 1 bite.
Truth.
I kind of agree. I love Wasa crackers, for example, and it's fun to make fancy open sandwiches on them. That said, two bites and I've got a mess. I wouldn't be mad if they made Triscuit sized Wasa. Or even two-bite size.
Counterpoint: big crackers exist so you can build a whole snack on one without playing charcuterie jenga. also if your cracker is exploding, your cheese is too cold or your grip is too aggressive. skill issue.
Whose mouth? My mouth or Andre the giants mouth?
humans are too variable for that to work.
Shoot, I’m 6’4 and 238lbs lady!
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What? Do you bite your crack? Wouldn’t it be more enjoyable snorting it?
Who can bite their own crack?
Once they have some dip or cheese on there they get some structural integrity. If you have dip or cheese on there and take a bite, there will not be shards of dry cracker flying everywhere, with people having to duck, and some people ending up with bits of cracker lodged in th...
🤦🏻♀️
I have a big mouth. 2 normally sized saltines and a goop of PB, just shove it in. Nom nom nom.
I've never met a cracker that wasn't bite sized. How small is your mouth???
I can’t eat butter crackers my entire life. Where’s the sense of wonder? I love a watercress cracker.
the crumbs alone are reason enough. one bite crackers or chaos. there is no middle ground.
I'll bet you a s'more that you'd betray this opinion after an evening around a campfire with me.
A bite for you is not the same as a bite for me. Younger brother bite for the win
Agree. Bite size is fine.
Yes, but stone wheat crackers had to be snapped in half to fit in your mouth and I find that acceptable as they were designed to do so easily.
People have different mouth sizes.
I couldn't agree more! My solution to this is ripping up pieces of toasted baguette and putting them in a bread basket and I just use those instead of crackers because the crackers piss me off, except for wheat thins!
This is hilarious becuse I’m eating hill shire salami crackers. A slice of cheese and salami on a bagel round. Usually I eat them whole but I’m not super hungry right now so it feels like a lot to eat it whole. I’m biting them in half and yeah it’s a pain in the ass but eh.
this mfer wants tiny little white people.
Crack it before putting it in your mouth.
But then I loose all the little pieces that fall off. Should I be punished for wanting to eat every morsel of cracker? I think not.
I agree depending on what type of crackers we are talking about. Snack crackers with charcuterie, agreed. Breakfast crackers, disagreed.
Wow. What a confession.
more surface area = more good stuff on top of the cracker It's just science.
You clearly never had the joy of savoring a cream cracker with butter. I'll stretch that mf out to 15 bites.
Upvote for being so very wrong